we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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