Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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