this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
