if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
