Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
3 2 1 whiskey
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
