real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize