you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
smell my finger.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
