we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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