hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
