pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
