I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
