Buhtt sex?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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