I'm jealous of your bromance
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I love you.
Bad choice
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
