What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We just shotgunned beers for America
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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