I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
