some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
