His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
