Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
