In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
