I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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