My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
