i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
