Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
