i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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