He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
