is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
