suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
