His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
