We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
