Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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