so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
