so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
