you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
