pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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