I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
