we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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