Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
