yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Im part way to drunk.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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