Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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