Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
