Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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