I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
