He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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