Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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