textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
