I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
