So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
