So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
