she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
