Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Alive.
So much puke
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
