i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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