butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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